A New Vocabulary Word

There are so many things to talk about, where do I begin? The highlight of my day is when the husband informed me that the FBI had questioned the head of our community development department for our dysfunctional city. I did a happy dance, I was elated that this had occurred; I have no shame in admitting that I wish the asshole would be taken down already. So, it was a good day.

Sunday the front porch had a date with a mason. It needed to be re-pointed on the top row where the mortar cracked and shifted due to huge weather change when it was done 4 years ago. The porch is happy and so we are happy, another item crossed off the list of things to do.

As you have noticed I have yet to talk about the front yard. Why? It is an embarrassment! After the rebuilding of the basement walls we hired a lawn guy to come in and remove nasty clay soil, rock and other fragments of things that did not belong in soil and put in a new lawn. The husband and I figured we would deal with landscaping the following year. Well – a few more floods, one crap trap later that went terribly wrong in more ways than one and we were promised a new lawn from the city. Remember the contractors ended up digging up our entire front yard to find the sewer line because the idea of using the sewer camera never entered their feeble little minds.

Well – here is a new word for your vocabulary:
Ghetto Lawn” aka “Ghetto Grass”. What is a “Ghetto Lawn” you ask? Very simple, it is when a contractor hired by the city does a half-ass job. The results of this half-ass job is a lawn which has stone, other various debris, no base top soil (we have nasty clay up here), no organic material, develops craters/fishers during the summer (a chipmunk would be swallowed by one of these), bare spots, weed battles and turns to mash potatoes when there has been heavy rains. I call it mash potatoes because the soil actually sticks and collects to the bottom of your shoes if you walk on it. Now, to further drive the “Ghetto Lawn” principle home, in our newer sections of the city – the outskirts (yep we have urban sprawl here it just happens to be with in the same 36 square miles) this half ass work would never fly, would never cross ones mind, it just would not happen. Thus, the husband and I coined the word “Ghetto Lawn”.

The game plan for the front yard is to tear the whole thing out. Every scrap of ghetto grass, remove clay soil and put in one rain garden and landscaping. We have a friend who is working on a design to help up achieve this. We have issues of sound and privacy due to living on a main road to address, and very limited space which is about 25’x 20’ in total.

The husband and I are eager to get started because we are actually embarrassed that the front of our home actually looks like this. The front yard did not look this way prior to construction, the yard was beautiful. Prior to the crap trap installation the lawn was healthy and green; now it just looks like a . . . “G H E T – T O L A W N”. There are no pictures of this embarrassment at the moment but when we start this project we will get before, during and after photos. Like I said it is just too embarrassing.

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2 Responses to “A New Vocabulary Word”


  1. 1 modernemama March 18, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    We’re doing the re-pointing thing, and the re-sodding thing too. It’s been a hard winter

  2. 2 Michele March 18, 2009 at 5:36 PM

    I don’t relish having to “re-do” things but it has/had to be done. Between the snow and freezing temps this year, the first row of motor was in terrible shape. We were lucky that we still stay in contact with one of the original crew members who did work on the basement so we asked him to do the re-pointing. He is a perfectionist.


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